driving today and i thought about the two girls that made me dumb. didnt fall in love with them cause love is not the romantic selfish crap of needing but much more beautiful and universal. anyway, they were both innocent and socially acceptable. then they dumped me and changed alot. got wild, not that that was bad, but just completely different. one side of the spectrum to the other. did i know that and got attracted cause of it, could i have caused it, would laura do the same? difference is that laura didnt make me dumb, and thats why i can stay with her. i tired of the others and then hated them, and it was all crazy bullshit that is not about long-term relationships but some kind of dysfunctional fill my need i didnt complete as a child cause my parents were like that shit. listen to loveline or see eyes wide shut if you are confused, and try to understand a little about people. man, im a self-righteous asshole. damn good movies recently, american beauty and fight club. had to say that other shit or spend too much time trying to write a song or poem or maybe i still will

bradley and mccain should run together. i guess id like it if bradley was president and mccain vp, but either would be fine with me. they could passionately discuss and debate the issues together publicly, so that the US public could understand issues and get more involved. people could learn more about why each party holds the views they do. it could be the true “campaign finance reform” party. actually if one of them is able to capture their party’s nomination, they should just choose the other as vp. it would be a shoe-in with major support from one party and some from the other. today is my birthday, and that means i flipped a car 3 years ago. im getting tired waiting for the information super highway. electricity and data/phone/multimedia fiberoptic lines should be public or controlled by a company that consumers do not pay. either they are public and we pay through taxes or the company is paid by those that consumers pay for the services, like the companies that make the power or the ISP/phone/cable company (that would all become access providers). we need reliable networks yet competitive services. guess IP telephony must come first………laura????

just changed the picture on the top, i miss her badly already. she is gonna be in Europe for almost 3 months. at least i got to talk to her today, timezones make communication annoying and complicated. old bill must be dead, cause i dont care that i feel that i need her. this sucks.

hey, my computer is working. now im running 98 and the date means it should have crashed. anyway, long time since last entry and i just want to say a couple of things. the house is really coming along as a number of rooms are painted and im gonna look into carpeting soon. place is gonna rock. thinking about the music industry, and how artists make little off of their own CD’s. MP3’s should be freely distributed so more artists get heard. artists would tour more to get money, and tour in festivals if they couldnt do it on their own. to get the booklet and full CD or DVDA, as may come about, you could go to their web site or amazon.com or something like that. artists would need companies able to produce the media, but otherwise less conglomerates would control the industry. the radio would be less repeats as no big company would push images or certain sounds. maybe it would all stop sounding alike. more new stuff and more efforts by artists to put out quality product. kinda a return to innocence. ill talk more about this utopia later.

yesterday was ozzfest and most of the bands were ok, better than i thought they would be. exceptions included primus, rob zombie, and the amazing black sabbath. loved the sabbath. just bloody awesome. zombie was really cool and primus rocked like always except that les shared some very sad news. Marc Sandman of Morphine died in Italy onstage. they were a great and original band that i saw a number of times. he had a voice that melts. truly missed.

i feel obliged to write something today. my lazy ass bought a ticket for Tibetan ’99 cause RATM joined the Chicago show at Alpine Valley but then this morning i went back to sleep cause it looked like the show would be flooded out. should of went, cause even the mud would have been better than me sitting here doing shit. guess ill get laundry done. i was thinking last night, that there has gotta be a better way than ticketmaster. i bought the ticket that was supposed to cost 38.50 and it ended up at 47.00. if you want to buy the tickets in person, you gotta go to a dominicks food store and hope the system is working. does ticketmaster pay the people at dominicks? maybe sidewalk.com people could devise a way to beat them with some new tech stuff. i hope so, cause no service fee should be over 5 bucks ever! my grandmother died friday night/saturday morning. such a good lady, took care of me alot when i was little. i just want to say thank you.

no more bad frames, and i finally got damnkids.com running as you can tell if you are reading this. world domination will surely follow although the process is going slow.

yesterday was a sad day. imagine if they had never been disrespected by anyone. at least 15 people would still be alive today. were they just bad seeds, destined to kill? or created by the way they were treated by others? guess your answer kinda defines you. id like to know about their homelife. people are people. why must we make any other designation besides that? kosovo and littleton have that problem in common, people are not considered equal for some god damn reason. we will learn somehow or another, why must more die before we do…

the internet is simply amazing, really. so much is possible, we’ve only tapped it slightly. anyway. this Kosovo thing is horrible. should the US be in it? a mean man is leading others to kill other people, but we think by killing some of them we can help stop it. i hope so. someone made an interesting comparison. imagine if some empire had decided to kill “American settlers” to prevent us from displacing and killing the native americans. war is wrong, but i dont know what we could have done to stop Hitler.